Okay, it's been a rough couple of days. My body is fighting back. The headaches haven't stopped and for some reason all of the veggies and fruit are making my stomach gurgly and uncomfortable. I am going through sugar withdrawal and have been fantasizing about eating chocolate or the BLT paninis they sell in the cafeteria at Caledonia High School's cafeteria (I actually asked someone in my class to put their Hershey Kiss away because it was bothering me!).
On a positive note, I have been able to be more creative with food choices. My Tastefully Simple products have been saving me! I made a pasta dish today that I think Paul would like me to make when we aren't fasting. Score!
Spiritually, I have been really trying to hear God and learn what He has to teach me during this time. I am finding that I am more aware of when I want to gossip and have stopped myself. This is hard. It is really hard when I am around others who are gossipping and to not participate. On another note, am I also asked to confront these people and tell them to stop? Part of me feels convicted to do this, but the other part of me is petrified and embarrassed. That is a territory I am scared to even consider. I don't want to be viewed as "holier than thou." Clearly, this is still an area of prayer and growth for me. Some times when I think of all of this I feel so juvenile! Gossip is what middle school girls do, not what a grown adult woman does!
Through the hunger pains and withdrawal symptoms, I am pushing through them by trying to focus on the sacrifice that Christ gave up for me. He was beaten, ridiculed, and killed. Seriously, a little headache is killing me? Is that sugar craving really that bad?? How quickly I crave to be comfortable. I have my ibuprofen very close by!
Overall, I know that I am someone that does not like to be uncomfortable; be it physically or socially. I don't want to give up sugar as much as I don't want to ask others to cease their gossip. I know God asks us to step out of our comfort zone and to trust Him.. Somethings are easier than others, but I can definitely feel Him nudging me out of my comfort zone. I am PETRIFIED what He has in store, yet I am trying my best to trust faithfully and follow.