l Will Stop Complaining Finally!

I know that I have done a lot of complaining about my internship over the past year.  I take full responsibility and make no excuses.  The fact is: it was a hard 9 months! However, today I completed all of the hours I needed and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.  I made it!

I have learned a lot about myself through this internship.  First and foremost, I learned that I could never work full-time (or part-time even) while I still have little ones at home.  I will be the first to admit that I suffer from some anxiety.  The upside is that I have sought help for this anxiety (even some great medication that they don't let me use anymore now that I am pregnant), and I am also able to pinpoint exactly what types of instances bring this anxiety on.  I have learned that getting Belle ready, myself ready, and both of us out the door and where we need to by by 7am stresses me out to the max.  By the time I have dropped Belle off I feel like I have just ran a marathon.  I think it is because I feel rushed in the morning.  It would be easier if I woke up earlier, but pregnancy REALLY makes it hard to pull myself out of bed.  Trying to remember everything that she needs and everything I have to bring to work overwhelms me at times.

Now, I know many moms out there are thinking, "how is she going to handle another kid?"  I know I will do fine.  Yes, there will be things that overwhelm me, but I know that this internship was a bit of a different circumstance.  Once kids get older they get a bit more self-sufficient in getting themselves ready, whereas a toddler is still pretty reliant on me to dress her, change her diaper, feed her, and all of that.

I have also learned that I could never do this without the help of my family and friends.  My heart goes out to people who are working to complete a degree and/or an internship and need to find childcare.  My internship didn't pay me, so if I had to pay for childcare on top of this I would have been extremely overwhelmed.  Thankfully, my friends and family gathered around, split up the days, and took on my crazy daughter since August.  I am eternally grateful and so thankful for people who are so willing to help out.

Lastly, I am proud of myself.  I worked my tail off and put in hours and hours of class time, homework time, and internship hours for the past 3 years.  I know that many people get post-graduate degrees and every one of them should be amazed at themselves.  Post graduate work isn't necessarily harder, but it is more difficult for the stage of life I am in.  Undergraduate work was different because all of my peers were doing the same thing.  I wasn't married.  I wasn't a mother, and I just had to worry about myself and studying.  Not so the case with my masters.  So I am going to brag and gloat a bit and toot my own horn. 

So, peace out internship.  Thanks for the education.  I will take my life back now. 

Little Talker (and stinker)

I wanted to make sure I documented this week with Belle.  I feel her language and ability to understand has progressed leaps and bounds in the past week.  She also had her first complete and utter temper tantrum.

First, the good stuff.  The other day she came downstairs in the morning and found a stick Mac had been chewing on the night before.  She immediately associated the stick with "Mac" and begin saying "Mac, are you?"  How adorable?  She was calling her favorite little buddy!  It was clear as day!  Good little sentence :-)  She has also mastered "pees (please)", "bite? (when she wants what I'm eating)," "banky (blanky)," "book," "cookie," "cacka (cracker)," "nigh-night," "apple," as well as others to add to her growing vocabulary.  She will also fake snoring and pretend to sleep, as well as put her finger up my nose when I ask her where my nose is.  This stage is so fun!

Now that Paul and I know Belle understands more we expect more of her....especially in the area of saying "please."  Today she wanted a bottle (yes, I know my daughter is 18 months and doctors say to get rid of it at 12 months.  I'm not real worried about her heading to college with her bottles, and at this point I'm fine with it).  Paul told her to say "please," of which she loudly responded, "no!"  She cried and cried and we told her she could have the bottle once she said "please."  I know she understands this because we have had the same situation in the past and she says "please."  Not this time!  Girl threw a fit.  Crying and throwing herself on the ground face down, kicking, and beside herself.  Once this went beyond a few minutes I realized that this was the time to start "time-out."  The first go wasn't the greatest, but in the end the score was Belle 0 Parents 1.  She never said "please," but she also never got her bottle either.  Whoop whoop!

1st Trimester

This pregnancy is very similar to my pregnancy with Belle, yet different at the same time.

I have been struggling with your basic nausea and fatigue, but it is different than my first pregnancy.  I had nausea with Belle, but this pregnancy feels very on and off nausea.  When I have it is is TERRIBLE, and when I don't I feel pretty great!  With Belle it was always a low-grade nausea that pretty much stayed the same from 7 to 15 weeks.  I have started taking ginger supplements and have tried sea-bands.  I was QUITE skeptical about the sea-bands, but sometimes I think they work!  Even if it is all in my head, it works :-)

The fatigue has also been different.  I think the reason it feels harder this time is because I can only sleep when Belle sleeps :-)  In my first pregnancy I could sleep whenever I wanted!  An adjustment, but I'm figuring it out.

All in all, I really can't complain too much.  The nausea and fatigue reassure me that all is going as it should.  I pray that this baby grows strong and healthy and that we hear a heartbeat at my appointment April 27. 

On a side note--Paul has started clearing out our basement because we start work on it next week to finish it off.  I am AMAZED at how much we have accumulated in our 5 years of marriage.  I have a feeling we will be throwing out or selling a lot of what was down there!