2012

2011 is gone and now into 2012! I must say that 2011 turned out to be an amazing year. We welcomed our second baby, Evie, and watched Belle become quite the chatty and active toddler! I completed my masters degree after 3 years of hard work. It's crazy to think that when I started the program I wasn't even pregnant with Belle! How quickly life changes!

I don't tend to like to make resolutions as I am terrible at sticking to them, however in looking forward to 2012 I began to think about what I wanted this year to look like. Basically, the most important parts of my life are my relationships with others. Sometimes I feel I do great at feeding these relationships, and other times I know I get lazy and caught up in my own life. So, this year I want to resolve to improve the most important relationships in my life: God, Paul, my daughters, my friends, and myself.

My relationship with God:
Yes, this should be the relationship I focus on the most, right? Sadly, I must say I do not spend as much time strengthening this relationship as I should. I know that there are days I am physically and mentally exhausted from motherhood, and I justify this as reasons why I can't spend more time reading the Bible and praying. Unfortunately, maybe if I spent more time in the Bible and prayer I might not feel as physically and mentally exhausted....or maybe I will feel the same and the time spent with the Lord will be a much needed refuge from some of my crazy days!

My relationship with Paul:
Marriages always have their ups and downs, and my marriage is no different. This year Paul and I had some great moments, and some not so great moments. All in all, he was my saving grace when Evie was born and we were surprised with a c-section. Sometimes I think it is easy for me to focus on the kids and not take the time to stop and appreciate the man I am married to. I will never forget something my father-in-law said to us in his message to us at our wedding. He challenged Paul and I to "out-love the other." I can say that I haven't been doing much if this lately. I get caught up in what he can do for me and not thinking about what I can do for him. So, this year I resolve to out-love my husband. So far I have committed to making his lunch for him once a week (I know, why not everyday? I have to stick to promises I can keep). I also want to try to thank him for the things he does around the house and let him know I notice. Paul's love language is words of encouragement, so it's time I start speaking his language!

My relationship with my daughters:
I feel that I am a good mom. I often sacrifice my needs for my girls' needs, but I don't always do it with a joyful heart. I want to give to my girls in a less selfish manner. I also want to be better at getting on the floor and playing with them. Laundry can wait (sometimes). Facebook will be there tomorrow. I love the one on one time I have with Belle, but sometimes I think of all of the other things I should be doing around the house. It's time I tell myself that it's okay to leave the bed unmade as long as I am reading books, playing dolls, or singing songs with the girls. Obviously, housework will still need to get done, but I know I can be more proactive in playing with the kids. Heck, maybe I do better at involving them in the housework? Belle is pretty good at helping me dust :)

My relationship with others:
Sometimes I get so caught up in the happenings of my own life that I forget to be engaged in the lives of others. I want to do more to reach out to help my friends and my family. They give so much help to me and the small things make such a difference! It doesn't take much to make things easier on someone else. I resolve to try harder to see what I can do to put a smile on the faces of others.

My relationship with myself:
I must admit that I have been a bit down on myself. My body is not where I want it. I know, I know...I just had a baby. The fact still remains that I want to feel better about the way I look. I want to feel confident. I know I will never be a size 2...heck I'd even be happy with a size 6, but I just want to feel good about myself in the size I am in. I want to embrace this body that has housed two babies. It isn't THAT bad, just a little worn from motherhood, which is well worth the sacrifice. Eventually I want to get back to better eating habits and maybe join Body and Soul again at my church. Along with my body, I want to embrace the things I am good at and not be so hard on myself about the things I am not the best at. Organization is not my forte. I want to embrace this and do the best I can at what I can do without beating myself up that my house is not I'm perfect order. All in all, I want to love myself for my strengths, strive to be better at the things I can, and to quit expecting myself to have it "all together."


So, there you have it! Hopefully by the end of 2012 I can look back over the year and see stronger relationships with God, Paul, my daughters, friends and family, as well as my relationship with myself. I know I won't be perfect, but I don't think I can go wrong with trying.