Today was one of those days where you sit in church and you feel like the pastor is speaking directly at you. Our sermon series right now is called "Surge" which is about communicating with God. Today's sermon was about prayer. This was one I needed to hear.
I can't say that my prayer life has been amazing lately. I use the excuse that I am busy with two young children and that quiet time is hard to come by. Waking up early isn't very appealing after being up at night with a 2 month old. Today I was force to ask myself three questions related to my prayer life: Will I wake up or not? Do I have a place? How do I focus?
Will I wake up or not? The resounding answer in my head was "no." I like my sleep. I want my sleep. I feel justified in my sleep when I am up with a 2 month old sometimes 8 times a night! As I am thinking that I don't need to wake up, Pastor Brad asked how we want to start our day. Obviously, prayer seems like a great option. Why don't I do this? I know that there are mornings I pray before I eat my breakfast, but I can't say that I take a set a good amount of time in prayer before God. I often can't wait to get my cup of coffee and check my emails. Why am I more excited for that part of my day than stopping to talk to my Creator?
Do I have a place? As Pastor Brad asked this question I seriously laughed in my head. Right. Finding a quiet place without distraction in a house with a two year old and a 2 month old? Highly unlikely. Again, as these thoughts are happening my pastor continues with saying that he knows many of us are young parents and that this is tough, however, we cannot wait for our kids to grow older to start praying. He actually said that it was a matter of life and death. That hit me square in the eye. It makes sense. I should be making a point to pray for my children, my husband, my family. Why would I wait to ask God to lead their path and to show them grace? The fact is that I have a place and I need to find a way to spend time in prayer when I won't be distracted.
How do I focus? This one is so hard for me. I feel like the minute I start to sit down to pray I began to think of my obligations for the day, my plans for the weekend, or even what I want to post on Facebook next. Technology can become so unbelievably distracting. I know I can focus, but why is it such a difficult task?
All in all, my prayer life has been something I have been struggling with lately. I want to be more disciplined in this area of my life and it has been on my heart. How interesting that this sermon seemed to come at exactly the right now and seemed to speak directly to me. I use a lot of excuses as to why I can't make this more of a priority, and I really feel that it is pure laziness.
I wish this part of my faith was easier for me. I wish I was more disciplined and that waking up early was easy to do to spend time with God. I know it is necessary. I know that the prayer life I have right now is not the one I want to continue. So, I hope that I will sit down and make a committment to spend more time talking to God and listening for his answers. I want my girls to grow up with a vivid image of their mother taking time out of her day to pray.